Filled with challenges that can equal or exceed the joy of a relationship, marriage can be very stressful. Unsatisfied expectations can become seeds that turn into dissatisfaction, creating a gap between husband and wife. On the other hand, external factors such as financial difficulties, work stress, the death of loved ones, a new baby, or a move can make the problems seem insurmountable. According to Dr. David Sanford of Couplesupport.com, there are three reasons why people seek counseling: to relieve the pain of the relationship, to learn how to make their marriage work and to have a more dynamic relationship.
Learn To Communicate
Some couples start with excellent communication, but in the end, they are separated by the stress of everyday life. Children, jobs, and finances can take away the energy of both or one, so sometimes they let the communication with the couple get lost. Other couples have never learned to communicate constructively. Learning to communicate effectively daily is an essential goal in couples therapy.
Couples often allow their marriage to get into dangerous terrain after intense disagreements and arguments, according to Jon Meyerson, LCSW in “Successful Couple Therapy: A Step-by-Step Approach” on the Social Work Today website. While it is not necessary for married people to agree on everything, they have to learn to express their opinions respecting what the other person has to say. This involves setting limits for disagreements so that both parties feel safe to express their points of view.
Discover Bigger Problems
Sometimes a bigger problem is the root of the issues of the married couple. A professionally trained counselor should have the tools to help discover and help the couple cope with issues that seem too big to overcome. These can be problems of the past, such as fear of abandonment, or aspects of the present, such as infidelity.
Changing Bad Habits And Patterns
As the couple moves through the first part of the marriage, bad habits can form and grow. This could be a variety of topics, from not communicating feelings to insisting on trivial things. Since couples often do not see what they are doing, a qualified therapist can identify the problem and help the couple in front of him in a controlled environment.
Building Or Rebuilding Trust
The marriage counselor will give the couple the tools to start building or rebuilding trust in the relationship. This will generally involve small steps at the beginning, such as keeping small promises like doing what you said you would do, according to Savemymarriagetoday.org. As the counseling sessions progress, the therapist can add additional methods to learn to trust.