Marriage counseling is one of the most critical tasks in the pastoral ministry and the process of discipleship within the church. An active congregation is made up of stable marriages and healthy families. The strength of a church is also proportional to the maturity of its members, including those married.
That is why it is essential that those who advise not only be believers with a good marriage testimony but also that they are people prepared to some extent to address the problems and give advice from a biblical perspective. The purpose of this writing is to provide some general ideas and then a particular orientation for all those who act as marriage counselors, either regularly as a service to their church as sporadically on special occasions.
Advise Couples In Crisis
Those of us who advise couples in crisis should listen carefully and sensitively to the arguments of both parties. To make a fair evaluation, the counselor must have all the elements and information available.
It is essential to remind spouses of their new nature and the elements that accompany it: forgiveness, mercy, respect, love, and humility.
Couples Need Mentors
In the same way, the accompaniment that is made after the counseling will be decisive. Sometimes couples need mentors to help them continue to grow for months or even years.
Of First Importance
Something more than generalities, I want to point to the most crucial aspect that every counselor should consider in the counseling process. In this sense, we must quote some words of the apostle Paul: “And whatever you do, do it with your heart, as for the Lord and not for men,”
The importance of this imperative is noted when we consider the context of what the apostle is saying. In the verses preceding this mandate, Paul has instructed the spouses regarding their responsibility within marriage. To close this section, the apostle exhorts them, saying that everything must be done “as for the Lord.” This call that Paul makes to believers is the criterion that should guide our behavior and life in general, including the sphere of marriage. We were created for the glory of. Therefore, spouses must glorify God in everything they do. Christians have to ask ourselves if our actions, words, and attitudes are honoring the Lord.
Counselors should help Christian couples to become aware of their greater responsibility: to glorify God. After all, that is the purpose of our existence. Of course, we are grateful that truly glorifying God also brings joy to our souls and our marriages. Husbands must understand the need and importance of glorifying God, and those who advise must do our utmost to bring people to that conviction. Above any motivation, the spouses should seek to please God first, and from this humble, themselves, forgive, ask for forgiveness, tolerate, make the necessary changes and fulfill their duties as spouses.
In the midst of this, we can not stop presenting the gospel. The reason we can forgive is that we have been forgiven. Marriage itself is a fair representation of what Christ bought on the cross. Like everything in the Christian life, the work of Jesus on our behalf is the fuel. May the Lord help us when we are counseling couples, and grant us their wisdom and grace to fulfill this great ministry faithfully.