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Marriage Counseling And The Glory Of God

Marriage counseling is one of the most critical tasks in the pastoral ministry and the process of discipleship within the church. An active congregation is made up of stable marriages and healthy families. The strength of a church is also proportional to the maturity of its members, including those married.

That is why it is essential that those who advise not only be believers with a good marriage testimony but also that they are people prepared to some extent to address the problems and give advice from a biblical perspective. The purpose of this writing is to provide some general ideas and then a particular orientation for all those who act as marriage counselors, either regularly as a service to their church as sporadically on special occasions.

Long Features

Advise Couples In Crisis

Those of us who advise couples in crisis should listen carefully and sensitively to the arguments of both parties. To make a fair evaluation, the counselor must have all the elements and information available.

New Nature

It is essential to remind spouses of their new nature and the elements that accompany it: forgiveness, mercy, respect, love, and humility.

Couples Need Mentors

In the same way, the accompaniment that is made after the counseling will be decisive. Sometimes couples need mentors to help them continue to grow for months or even years.

Of First Importance

Something more than generalities, I want to point to the most crucial aspect that every counselor should consider in the counseling process. In this sense, we must quote some words of the apostle Paul: “And whatever you do, do it with your heart, as for the Lord and not for men,”

The importance of this imperative is noted when we consider the context of what the apostle is saying. In the verses preceding this mandate, Paul has instructed the spouses regarding their responsibility within marriage. To close this section, the apostle exhorts them, saying that everything must be done “as for the Lord.” This call that Paul makes to believers is the criterion that should guide our behavior and life in general, including the sphere of marriage. We were created for the glory of. Therefore, spouses must glorify God in everything they do. Christians have to ask ourselves if our actions, words, and attitudes are honoring the Lord.

Counselors should help Christian couples to become aware of their greater responsibility: to glorify God. After all, that is the purpose of our existence. Of course, we are grateful that truly glorifying God also brings joy to our souls and our marriages. Husbands must understand the need and importance of glorifying God, and those who advise must do our utmost to bring people to that conviction. Above any motivation, the spouses should seek to please God first, and from this humble, themselves, forgive, ask for forgiveness, tolerate, make the necessary changes and fulfill their duties as spouses.

In the midst of this, we can not stop presenting the gospel. The reason we can forgive is that we have been forgiven. Marriage itself is a fair representation of what Christ bought on the cross. Like everything in the Christian life, the work of Jesus on our behalf is the fuel. May the Lord help us when we are counseling couples, and grant us their wisdom and grace to fulfill this great ministry faithfully.

What Are The Goals Of Marriage Counseling?

Filled with challenges that can equal or exceed the joy of a relationship, marriage can be very stressful. Unsatisfied expectations can become seeds that turn into dissatisfaction, creating a gap between husband and wife. On the other hand, external factors such as financial difficulties, work stress, the death of loved ones, a new baby, or a move can make the problems seem insurmountable. According to Dr. David Sanford of Couplesupport.com, there are three reasons why people seek counseling: to relieve the pain of the relationship, to learn how to make their marriage work and to have a more dynamic relationship.

Learn To Communicate

Some couples start with excellent communication, but in the end, they are separated by the stress of everyday life. Children, jobs, and finances can take away the energy of both or one, so sometimes they let the communication with the couple get lost. Other couples have never learned to communicate constructively. Learning to communicate effectively daily is an essential goal in couples therapy.

Disagree Effectively

Couples often allow their marriage to get into dangerous terrain after intense disagreements and arguments, according to Jon Meyerson, LCSW in “Successful Couple Therapy: A Step-by-Step Approach” on the Social Work Today website. While it is not necessary for married people to agree on everything, they have to learn to express their opinions respecting what the other person has to say. This involves setting limits for disagreements so that both parties feel safe to express their points of view.

Discover Bigger Problems

Sometimes a bigger problem is the root of the issues of the married couple. A professionally trained counselor should have the tools to help discover and help the couple cope with issues that seem too big to overcome. These can be problems of the past, such as fear of abandonment, or aspects of the present, such as infidelity.

Changing Bad Habits And Patterns

As the couple moves through the first part of the marriage, bad habits can form and grow. This could be a variety of topics, from not communicating feelings to insisting on trivial things. Since couples often do not see what they are doing, a qualified therapist can identify the problem and help the couple in front of him in a controlled environment.

Building Or Rebuilding Trust

The marriage counselor will give the couple the tools to start building or rebuilding trust in the relationship. This will generally involve small steps at the beginning, such as keeping small promises like doing what you said you would do, according to Savemymarriagetoday.org. As the counseling sessions progress, the therapist can add additional methods to learn to trust.

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